Holding onto anger and resentment is the same as drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
How To Forgive
Forgiveness, how to let go of guilt shame and blame!
If you desire to Stop Pain, Anger, Depression, Resentment; then it is time to forgive.
There are many ways to accomplish Forgiveness, the following ways are my personal tools to move out through forgiveness to return to Love!
1. The Mental Choice of Forgiveness
2. The Soul Choice of Forgiveness
When we are in our mental bodies with Forgiveness our truth is:
a. We believe someone did us wrong. When we believe we have been wronged and continue to hold someone, something and/or someplace outside of ourselves accountable for the wrongdoing; it is no different than drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
b. We believe we did something wrong to another. When we believe we did something wrong to another, we simply drink the poison fully knowing it will kill us.
We flip back and forth between believing someone did us wrong versus we did something wrong to another.
Either belief stagnates us and eventually paralyzes us from moving forward into the joyous feelings that allow us to live in Heaven on Earth. To not forgive is the soulful death of us. We stop our growth right in that moment of believing we were wronged or did wrong.
To Forgive as defined in the dictionary:
1. To grant pardon for or remission of an offense, a debt, etc.; to absolve
2. To give up all claim on account of; remit a debt, obligation, etc.
3. To cease to feel resentment against another
4. To cancel an indebtedness or liability.
Ways to forgive: Stop blame and grant pardon
Bear no malice
Bury the hatchet
Dismiss from mind
Kiss and make up
Let bygones be bygones
Let it go
Let off easy
Let up on
Think no more of
Turn other cheek
Wipe slate clean
Ways to Not Forgive:
In the lists above there are a minimum of 40 ways to forgive versus 5 ways to not forgive; and thusly comes the empowering choice of growing by moving forward through forgiveness or staying stagnant where your mind rots in blame and inflicting punishment upon someone else or your self.
To choose to stymie our growth is choosing hell, it is choosing fear and those choices perpetuate the vicious cycle of non-acceptance, expressed through self-blame or projected blame onto another. We accuse which then causes us to fearfully limit our relationships through censuring them, unfortunately that is nothing more than censuring our own lives as well. We charge forward with judgment, engaging in making someone else or our selves accountable and thusly the results are punishment of self or punishment of others. Then shame follows which fuels the fires of repeating the same negative outcome over and over again.
To choose to grow is choosing heaven, it is choosing love, it is choosing to move beyond critical judgment of self and all others.
How beautiful to have an array of multiple options to be able to free us through forgiveness so we may grow and move forward.
Out of the 40 options above, I personally prefer two "Dismiss from mind and Release" (as in release the negative emotions attached to your incorrect truth).
It is the mental body that is holding the incorrect truth (what you have come to believe as a result of your fantasized negative perception). This negative fantasy fuels the fear-based emotions of anger, resentment and even hatred for another or for your self. The mental body is what we have been conditioned to believe; it is a taught behavior and does not even closely resemble who you truly are; the Soul.
The Soul Choice:
The Soul and its divine expression, your magnificence, the Spirit; is being held back if you choose to not forgive self or others for what you believe you did to them or they to you.
The Soul needs not any teaching. The Soul does not need to forgive, as it knows already there is no wrong doing on your part or any one else's. The Soul knows it is has been gifted free will and free choice. The Soul knows that the use of such a great gift is to become aware through experience and is thusly not punishable. The Soul engages in the use of the gift to become aware of self as through experience it recalls what is right for the soul and what is not right for the soul. The soul knows this is individual choice and what is right for it, may not be necessarily right for another in any given moment of time.
As the soul remembers what is right for it, the soul does not engage in anything that is harmful unto itself or another. Yet the soul has been continuously oppressed by the mental body; so how do we move from the lower mind limiting behavior to the freedom of the expression of the soul.
II stated above I personally preferred two which lovingly compliment one another.
1. Dismiss from the mind.
2. Release the negative emotions
You can dismiss from your mind, your mental body by realizing the higher truth of the experience, what the soul knows already.
Ok, now most of you are probably thinking easier said then done. The actual higher truth is that it is easier done than said, because it takes far more time and precious energy to engage in the mental debate. Many of those whom have worked with me on a personal guidance level, already know the ease of going into their hearts to dismiss incorrect truths, expressed through limiting beliefs from their minds. (Do it yourself)
They are guided to meet directly with their soul and other souls in the safe, nurturing, and loving place called the heart. Once you are facilitated the first time, you have an empowering tool that you can use whenever and wherever you choose in any moment and do not need to be dependent upon another for your health and well being.
As your facilitator I AM present as a guide until such time you are confident in guiding yourself. This is vitally important so that you are empowered with tools of independence by first learning how to do it with the direction of someone who knows the path and the pitfalls from experience.
What is really happening is that you are the real guide, the higher aspect of you is the master and directs the facilitator to guide you to your self and the highest truths of the soul you are. The facilitator does not do it for you, they cannot any more than they can show you how to breathe and then attempt to breathe for you. It is far more empowering for you to realize and feel the strength and courage of self by facing the self limiting mental body with the divine love of self. This is safely accomplished by following the guide who has embarked on this trail numerous times. Once you are shown the way, you can not only do it yourself, but guide others as well to freedom through forgiveness.
Another tool I would like to share with you and can be easily applied in any instant and can be practiced continually without outside assistance; is the Violet Flame. The color of violet is the energy of transmutation. It is the color to be used when you wish to change a negative thought, feeling, situation and or person, including yourself into the positive.
First you find or create for your self a comfortable place to accomplish your mind freeing soul knowing play.
I use the word play because your mental body already has a strong resistance to other words such as; exercise, work, discipline etc. The mental body will attempt to stop you short of even beginning by using your own negative connotation to those words to manipulate you in not taking loving time for yourself to be free from its limiting control.
Create a place to play and get to know your soul! It can be a comfortable chair by a window where lots of sunlight can stream in to ensure a sense of nurturing warmth, or somewhere out in nature. I do suggest you make it as easy as possible for yourself and simply move a chair by a window somewhere in your home during a time you will not be distracted by the needs of others sharing the home. You can always speak clearly by explaining to those others, you are taking time for yourself for the next 30 minutes or an hour and you chose to not be interrupted.
You are responsible for doing loving things for yourself and if you set yourself up for the risk of being interrupted by not communicating clearlng you will be also setting yourself up for yet another experience that you are negatively holding self or another accountable for.
1. Sit in your chair
2. Close your eyes
3. Imagine a cylinder shaped tube of brilliant violet light. Expand the tube so that more than one person can stand within it.
4. Call in the person; place or thing that you perceive is presenting the challenge.
5. Invite them to step into the violet light.
6. You step in after them.
7. The two of you stand face to face. At first you or they may not be willing to look into one another's eyes. Don't be concerned, just stand there.
8. Allow the violet light to fill up your entire body, by breathing it in continuously. In this example, the other will begin to do the same.
9. Stay in the light for at least 15 minutes until you feel you have completely absorbed the violet light within you and you have witnessed the other doing the same. You will know this is complete when all the violet light turns to brilliant white light.
10. Now look each other in the eyes; this will now be easier as all the negative thoughts and feelings regarding self-imposed and/or projected accountability are gone due to the violet light transmuting the negativity into the positive.
11. Thank one another for showing up to clear the mental bodies of one another with the love and knowingness of the souls of one another.
12. You can kiss, hug or whatever feels lovingly appropriate, as you remember you are the same and there is no judgment of the self or projected upon any other. You will be able to do so because while in the tube as you were breathing in the violet light, the clarity of the higher truth was revealed to you and the lower mental body was dismissed, right after you allowed your self to scream, cry, blame and feel shame. The emotions are an over lay of the thoughts; as such the more engaged you are in the negative emotions, the less ability you have to see and know clearly what is really going on. In the tube you get to express those emotions without harm to self or the other.
13. Step out of the tube but take the white light with you for the rest of your day.
You can practice this each and every day, it may be with the same person for a long lasting challenge or you can do it in an instant when you recognize a new challenge arising.
I personally used this incredible tool for six months straight when facing a divorce. I was stuck in believing something was being done to me and I my initial anger and resentment had escalated to raging hatred for my estranged husband and his new girlfriend; who now not only wanted him and the business we had spent 10 years building together, she wanted my home as well.
We had attorneys that were costing a great deal of money and it was apparent there would be no friendly settlement, we were fully engaged in war and preparing for battle in a courtroom.
My days were consumed with blame. This type of behavior and the accompanied feelings were less than what I previously said I desired. My negative emotions were guiding me to my fearful negative fantasized thoughts that were projecting an outcome of complete loss and devastation; and thusly I became aware of the choice at hand.
I had chosen long before this to be at peace, to be in love and to live in heaven. What I was presently involved in was stress, nasty feeling emotions and thoughts of revenge at any cost.
What I needed was to choose heaven again and my pathway there and ticket in was through forgiveness. I knew I needed to forgive him for what ever I believed he did to me, that was playing out in the expression of believing I was betrayed, abandoned and rejected and more importantly I had to forgive myself for creating the situation that was a direct reflection of believing I was less than and that I deserved nothing more than what I was getting from him. I had to give to myself before I could expect another to give to me; thusly the fore-giving!
I did an extremely self-loving thing in that moment, I called out for help. St. Germaine responded by speaking to me through a book written by another. In those written words, I learned of the tool of using the violet light to help me forgive my estranged husband, his girlfriend and myself.
I used this violet light diligently for six months, no matter what it looked like or how they continued to behave on the outside and especially when I was tempted to reengage in fear. One week before the court case, I was driving in town and as I looked in my rear view mirror, I saw my estranged husband following me. He continued to follow me right to my office and parked right behind me so that I could not escape the encounter.
I stepped from my car remembering the violet light. I immediately noticed his softened appearance more than apparent from the tears over flowing from his eyes. He asked to speak with me, promising it would not take long.
In that meeting agreed upon in that very moment, he admitted his negative behavior and how it was not behavior consistent with who he truly was. It was not in accordance with his loving soul. He asked for my forgiveness as he handed to me, the signed deed to our home, giving me sole ownership, as well as a check for the full amount of money he had initially agreed upon, yet had withheld from me during our separation. He then requested we agree to call off the court battle; behaving as two people in love rather than in fear, so we could stop damaging ourselves and one another out of the fear of loss and lack. He desired for us to forgive one another so we could remain friends according to our loving souls rather than have some judge in a lower court of life determine and order us to take action we already knew was the right and loving thing to do.
I knew in that moment that my choice to follow by my willingness to forgive him, as well as myself for perceived wrongdoing, was the magic applied through the extra help of the tool of the violet light that freed us both on all levels to move forward in our lives.
Although we do not live together any longer and only see each other occasionally, each encounter is with total and absolute love gained through the choice of seeing that it was truly time for both of us to move on in our lives. He is thriving and so AM I in our individual expressions of the knowingness of the souls we are where forgiveness for ourselves and/or forgiveness for the other in that situation was necessary only in terms of engaging in the process that would allow us to dismiss the illusion from our mental bodies so we could clearly see the soulful truth of one another.
Forgiveness itself from the soul's higher truth is that there was never anything to forgive; we were both simply remembering through experience what was right for us as souls so we could return to the all-embracing love of the ONE!
In light with love from heaven on earth